So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
