The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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