nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
