I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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