well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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