Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
