hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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