1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
