chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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