four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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