He kissed a someone with a penis
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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