She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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