i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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