i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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