Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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