Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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