I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
