when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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