I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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