I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
pray to the hookup gods
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
