matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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