Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
