xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
