I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
