Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
