She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize