Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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