Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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