I must be too annoying 4 u.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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