new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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