I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You took a bar mat shot.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
