At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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