it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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