so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
