im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
