I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
the raccoons are back...
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