I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize