my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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