i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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