I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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