I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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