I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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