so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
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I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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