Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
BRING THE BAGELS
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
