I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
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I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
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At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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