He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
