Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this