Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
