Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
