i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
