dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like, not good at living.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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