Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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