i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
