I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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