i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
