I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
