so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
